Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
