he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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