I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
