Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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