do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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