Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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