check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
