i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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