oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
