i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
