Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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