return my video game
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
