I just made out with a guy for $7.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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