That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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