What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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