I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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