could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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