My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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