What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
