we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
