idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
