i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
