Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
