Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize