I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize