Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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