im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
