I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?