Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (2731) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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  (971): There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home. http://tfl.nu/78m4
  Replies (15) Good night (3950) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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  (732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust
  Replies (18) Good night (531) Bad night (3848) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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  (203): I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha http://tfl.nu/635d
  Replies (10) Good night (4570) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4260) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2821) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.

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  (508): new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row. http://tfl.nu/sqmw
  Replies (9) Good night (4592) Bad night (1264) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck

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  (915): Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck http://tfl.nu/avfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2746) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer

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  (519): I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer http://tfl.nu/xxja
  Replies (11) Good night (2584) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  This tent reeks of fear and sangria

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  (623): This tent reeks of fear and sangria http://tfl.nu/pbhq
  Replies (3) Good night (1425) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?

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  (970): Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/hh36
  Replies (3) Good night (2217) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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  (609): I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception. http://tfl.nu/z6mj
  Replies (13) Good night (1762) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

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  (360): Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot? http://tfl.nu/quvh
  Replies (22) Good night (743) Bad night (2835) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.

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  (202): I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing. http://tfl.nu/xvl1
  Replies (24) Good night (513) Bad night (4104) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.

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  (904): He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard. http://tfl.nu/3loy
  Replies (9) Good night (244) Bad night (931)

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