who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
