remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.