Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
40s are totally the cure
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.