well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!