I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop