just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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