I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
