Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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