If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
