Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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