cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
