Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize