I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sponge bath it is.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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