dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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