I feel like abortions should bother me more
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
