My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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