okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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