This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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