Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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