What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
