Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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