i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
