You really coming over, don't trick.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
