fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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