Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
