i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
