he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
