bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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