I wish I could punch you in the face.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it glows. i had to have it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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