So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
