Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
