Do you still have your period?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
