Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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