you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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