why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
