i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize