After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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