We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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