I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize