she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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