I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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