Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
