K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
