Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
