So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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