My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
