Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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